A Little Bit Of Sunshine

I see your eyes under  the murky water my eyes overlay yours you carry a- torch flame lapping the currents you raise it languidly above  your chest  closer, under your chin our eyes flicker twin flames lighting seaweed twined in the space between...  ...Long I have waded  in dark waters.  Before my light  crashed into yours  A collision course  of purple and purpose  A galaxy of wonders  wrapped  in One.   A duet with my favourite songbird,  Rafia Bilkis ... whose tune puts my heart at ease. 

What do we do now, sister of mine that you have retrieved your knife from my spine?  And with a rueful smile, declared me dead "It was either me or you" you said Ah. So she had noticed the pattern that abides with the unfavoured child And she too agreed, that I belonged on the outside Sad thing is, she was right Ours was a breathless existence Always gasping for air in pursuit of the last musical chair I almost convince myself we are sharing a dance How we glide and grin, spin in each other's arms But then the music stops And all camaraderie is lost

On the third seat in a bus to New Orleans I looked about me, made sure no one was watching And there on the window seat, I left my dream in an old shoe box I'd carefully packed  It took a while, but eventually I fit everything A rhinestone tiara, crumpled love letters addressed to a love I can never have  pretty shells I collected from the sea Every book I've ever read, every line of poetry I'd written in the throes of agony A single pearl on gold string and a button dress in the loveliest shade of blue you've ever seen I didn't cry as I stepped out in the city My heart was light and no longer heavy (never mind that it was empty) Oh for once, for once I was free.  And that's when I saw you.  Heart tender like a newborn shoot In your hand an empty box Carefully sewn, beautifully made, clutched to your chest In your eyes a softness untainted yet Suddenly, all too clearly, I knew what to do I turned on my heels and sped through the city streets I chased after my dr

It's a peculiar thing, prejudice. Crafty and sly, it burrows in hidden crevices. It sinks beneath the skin like a virus, it is a sickness...contagious. I'm still uneasy around people who aren't my race. It's far easier to assume their hatred, expect to be despised. And be, instead, pleasantly surprised. And I have been. Surprised.  To look someone in the eye...and find there, common ground. A familiar patch of land. The same river we waded in when we were kids, the same lumpy castle made of sand. Someone who, but for a brief moment, when the sun meets its daily demise, understands. How the colours blur in the sky. You begin to trust them, grow a mutual fondness...like two olive branches reaching across an impossible distance. The gaps between your worlds begin to close.  And then they say it. The thing that makes your heart turn cold. Shrivels up the hand you held out for them to hold. Perhaps they didn't see it, when they picked up stones to strike the distant tree

I love you  just a little more  than I did yesterday Not enough  to make a drastic change But enough  to note the gentle stubble  on your face The glimmer  in your eyes  when they're not  too shy to meet mine.  There's a strength  in your hands  I never noticed before...  Have you always been  so achingly lovely? 

In turbulent waters  He gave forth a daughter To calm the seas A beacon of hope  A banner of peace She is poetry in motion A lick of fire A drop of ocean Always fearful, but never a coward Always tearful, but never tired She is love in spite  She is vision, inspired  She is wisdom quite And rhythm quiet I heard it said He spun His breath  Upon her head I heard it asked,  why are you looking for the living amongst the dead?  Long had she abandoned  her tomb of misery and dread There she goes, in a plume of gold and red.  An ever-burning flame Flickering, never the same...  Happy Birthday, my sister ❤️

I do not love him, I think Maybe I could, possibly...someday  If the right pieces fell into place If pushed past the point of uncertainty, I could learn to get lost in his face.  Sometimes I am so very close I can taste the memories yet to be The years of comfort and solace.  I could, I know I could,  if asked I would say yes I wouldn't even fight it.  But I won't knock down every door, hoping you are on the other side of it All it would take is a push  But I would never fall into you on purpose  My legs are rooted on the edge Like shiny new coins I will never spend Forever on the cusp of love

Apologies are in order I've treated my heart like fodder Kicked and spat in its general direction And in doing so grew farther from love You know what hurt the most? That I knew exactly where to place my feet, the precise location in which my walls were weak The sinister, calculated act of poisoning my tea How vile, how bittersweet  And here, perhaps was a bit of comedy...  When I slipped,  knocked off of a cliff Held on only by the grip of my wrist  and screamed for help The only one around for miles Was myself. 

First you kick off your pretty shoes Scrape off the grime you collected on the road, from in between your toes You feel the sand beneath your feet Wade into the ocean up to your knees and chuck off your coat And all the secrets you tucked in between your breasts If there is any gold on your person, let it drown  it will only weigh you down Then you must gather your skirts about you,  Loosen your briefs And give them in to the breeze.  Still, you are not done yet Strip off your underwear,  until you are as bare  as the day you were born Still, you are not free yet Unravel your skin from the bone Like ribbon and bow Revealing vein and organ Still you are not even close Divide bone and marrow Still your pulse and heartbeat But that's not everything  Dissolve your memories, collect your dreams like plunder  Allow them to slip under Until you are but fibre More organism than conscious being Still, you are too far.  Evaporate, dissolve all you are Return to the void of the womb  A bundle