If I Perish, I Perish

“When this is done, I will go to the king, 

even though it is against the law. 

And if I perish, I perish."

– Esther 4:16

My life has been an endless series

of kicking down death's door

Of swallowing mouthfuls of pain

And asking for more

Of dizzying heights and tearful goodbyes

Beloved ruins and empty delights

Time and time again 

I have defied death

With a broken heart 

and scattered breath

I jumped off a ledge with nothing

To cushion my fall

And I will do it all over again...

For nothing purposeful 

has ever been easy