None of My Friends Are Becoming Legendary Directors

"None of my friends are becoming legendary 
directors, and I'm getting concerned." 
- Sthuthukile Biyela, 2025 

It’s been a few years since Issa Rae coined the term 'networking across' in an interview and changed my brain chemistry forever. 

As a young creative, I was prone to watching inspirational videos of my idols: Toni Morrison, Maya Angelou and, um... Shonda Rhimes. 

While their words stoked a fire in my heart, the sheer size of their legend created a large dissonance in my mind. What miracle would it take for me to become like them? 

Then I saw Issa Rae speak on networking across – the idea that the greatest resources you had were the people around you, the people who shared your passion and goals. Those were the people who could propel you towards greatness and help you achieve your wildest dreams. I began to think of how many success stories started out as a simple favour to a friend, or a joint project that probably never saw the light of day. 

I think of Jolie Andreatta, the costume designer for the critically acclaimed TV series Suits, stating in an interview that an old classmate got her into the business. A ruddy-cheeked Matt Damon and Ben Affleck bouncing on stage as they accepted the Academy Award for best screenplay for Good Will Hunting. A restless Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield deciding to open a bagel shop, only to pivot to icecream when the equipment for bagels proved too expensive. 

I thought of how some people seem to find each other, and share similar outlooks on life or burning curiosities. Like Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele meeting on MetTV and collaborating on a legendary skit show that would go on to develop an entire new style of comedy. Or how award-winning director Wong-Kar Wai and actor Tony Leung always seem to find each other in dimly lit rooms like long lost loves. 

Some of the greatest musical acts of our time were like-minded people meeting at the pivotal point of their lives: André 3000 and Big Boi; Lauryn Hill and The Fugees; John Lennon and Paul McCartney; Elton John and Bernie Taupin; The Wu-Tang Clan. 

I became mildly obsessed with collaboration and partnership; how a simple concept could be magnified and accelerated by the participation of two or more people. There were a lot of people in my life whom I admired and shared a passion for the arts with. I became convinced that this was the very reason we had met—we were meant to find each other and create works that would inspire a whole new generation of creative storytelling. So I 'networked across'. I shared my half-baked ideas and muddy visions, hoping they held the missing piece that would pull it altogether. Like a lock and key clicking into place, and opening up a new world. 

I sat on some amazing ideas, shelving them for these future partnerships... Then I waited. And waited. I thought I was 'networking', but I felt more alone than ever. Word to the wise: Just because you share similar interests with someone, doesn't mean they share your ambitions. I was coldly reminded that everybody had their own plans and hands full of their own projects and responsibilities. 

But they were not to blame... I was. You see, I wasn't looking for partnership – I was looking for a screen. An excuse to do the things I've always wanted to do, but I was too afraid, passive or lazy to try. It's why I always said I wanted to work with a director someday, and never that I wanted to be one. 

There was something grossly humiliating about it – daring to dream. Proclaiming out loud the images that filled my mind. But mostly, if I proclaimed it, it meant I had to work for it. It was easier for me to dream about a fairygod partner than it was to take accountability for my own future. 

While purposeful partnership is certainly possible, it didn't happen through sheer will or wishful thinking. It occurred naturally, after you laid down the groundwork for your own personal vision and goals. When you walked in your natural identity and gift, you naturally fell in step with those who were on the same path, walking in the same direction. 

Which meant that the work came first. Not the prestige, resources or connections. If you weren't growing and creating, moving into spaces with intention and focus, then you were nowhere near ready to carry another's vision. Especially if you lacked the backbone to carry your own (self-derogatory). 

Ever since I came to this realisation, I've changed my focus towards quietly building consistency in my work, and cultivating pure and organic connections... By showing up for others in a real way, engaging with their work and projects, and reaching out to the people I admire for wisdom and insight. All without trying to gain anything in return. 

Ironically, it is this letting go of expectations that leads to genuine connection. Here's the catch: You always find it in the most unexpected places. You could suddenly find yourself aligned with someone you only knew in passing. Or a brief conversation you once shared with someone could come full circle years later. A connection doesn't always lead to where you expect it to. 

While it seems as though every creative partnership was kismet from the start, it often doesn't look like it at first. Sometimes it means taking a bet on someone you don't know, based on nothing but faith. Everyone's eyes watered when the now-famous actor-director duo, Michael B. Jordan and Ryan Coogler, became Academy Award winners on the same night. But they were both relatively unknown when they met; Coogler, fresh out of film school and Michael, still trying to make a name for himself. There was no guarantee that their first feature film, Fruitvale Station, would lead them on the path it did. 

The goal, then, isn't to follow a path like theirs, but to carve your own... with all the challenges, growth and uncertainty it comes with. You have to be open to unique, and unexpected possibilities. 

While some whimsical part of me still hopes to become a muse for a legendary director, instead I have fostered beautifully unique and fulfilling partnerships of my own... Friends, mentors, fellow creatives and community members, all whom I deeply admire and respect. I am so incredibly thankful to each and every one of them. Through their support, counsel, affirming kindness and giddy laughter, I have become stronger, bolder and wiser. 

A better version of myself than I could have ever hoped to be on my own. This is the true goal of networking across. Not fame, success or critical acclaim, but to refine oneself by refining others. To pour into others, trusting that you will also be filled in due time. To refine yourself by refining others. Then, you will have no choice but to shine.