Unaccompanied

I wear lonely like a second skin

desperation, like a fragrance

My mind is in disarray

yearning for someone to talk to.

I mean, searching...it's not a dignified desire

It's downright feral and foaming at the mouth

It's shuddering at the smallest chance you might say hi.

And talk about the weather. 

I've gazed at the sky all week, 

trying to keep informed. 

I'm hanging by the phone, awaiting the tone

Dear salesman, please sell me something

Don't hang up just yet! I might actually be in need of a prosthetic leg...now was it the right or the left? 

Dear old friend, please tell me something 

I gush all my secrets to the poems, and oh do they listen. They've heard it all, carried it all... 

Every. Last. Word. 

But chances of them talking back are pretty small. 

If you're wondering why my inner ramblings are resembling those of an alcoholic writer who fell to his death from an unknown height, 

I've decided you don't exist, dear reader. 

Every day I write and hope no one's listening in on this private conversation between me myself and paper. 

Here I can ugly all I want, throw myself over the proverbial skyscraper...

Release the wretched air hovering about me like a blanket.

I'm afraid to open my mouth lest I reek of despair.

No one. No one likes the smell of fear.  

Maybe that's why no one comes close 

Even though I shamelessly wait for them to appear. 

I know I should keep in better touch with my friends, it's just... 

You know the saying "check on your friends, you never know what they're going through"? 

My friends are the ones who say that. 

When people say they need a friend, they usually mean they need to share their pain. 

But I'm doing rather okay...and I think I finally figured out what I wanna do with my life, and I really really do love to look at the sky-

I have about ten people to share my pain with and none my joy. 

I'm in no need of company...it's connection I crave. 

To many I am sister, bestie, and we stand cheek to cheek...arms interlinked. 

But I don't feel warm 

I don't feel known

As far as companions go, 

all I have is hope.